Raising Christian Kids | Reimagining Family Discipleship
Raise your hand if you want your kids to have a lifelong relationship with Jesus…
Me too.
But raising Christian kids seems harder now than ever before. As I sit here and think about all of the things my kids will face, I am overwhelmed.
In an era of online marketing that targets 10 year-olds watching YouTube, how will my kids discern who they are?
In a culture that values overcommitment and busyness, which often leads to 10-hour workdays, packed weeknight programming and general exhaustion, when will my kids and I rest and really connect?
When the busyness of life and the chaos of Sunday morning disasters keep us from going to church (once churches are even open again), how will my kids continue to grow in their faith?
I’m afraid that there isn’t an easy answer. At least, not easy in the way that ordering anything on Amazon Prime used to be before Covid-19.
No, teaching our kids who they are and who God created them to be; helping them to know how they should show up in the world and how their work can be in partnership with the things that God is doing; and inviting them into a lifelong relationship with Jesus Christ that is rooted in unconditional love, grace, and hope, that won’t be easy.
Yet, I want this for my kids and I’d guess you do too.
A Quick Introduction
If you’ve stuck with me up until this point, then we are co-travelers, journeying with those we love towards all that God has for our families. I’m Ken. The pieces of paper on my wall state that I am a Christian educator and theologian, but I like to think of myself as an innovator and a guide. My passion is helping parents like you attain all that God has for our families through meaningful conversation and reflection at the intersection of faith, family, and identity.
In other words, I help Christian parents introduce their kids to Jesus and establish God-focused practices that help their families thrive.
Discipleship
In Christian education, this idea can be summed up in the word discipleship. To make sure we are on the same page, discipleship is simply teaching another to follow and become more like Jesus Christ. As with all things, there is room for a lot of nuances, but, for now, let’s keep it simple. As we get to know one another, I promise to build on this foundation.
In the meantime, picture this:
You and your spouse are sitting in the park, near the edge of the playground, on the curb that divides the bark from the sidewalk. You are watching your 2-year old explore. They toddle away from you and toddle back. Then they do it again, but this time they go a little further before turning and running back into your arms. Each time they get a little further, pushing the boundaries of their reality before returning to safety. Eventually, they disappear around the other side of the slide and you hear a faint, nervous voice, “Mommy? Daddy?” And you respond, “We’re over here. Follow my voice.” A couple of seconds later, a worried little face peers around the slide, and as it registers your whereabouts, a big toothy smile of relief washes over their face as they make their way back to you.
The reason that the nervous worry becomes giddy relief is that you are their refuge, their anchor point on reality, their context for the world around them.
As much as kids get better and better at pretending that this isn’t true as they get older, we can never forget that as their parents, we are our kids first point of reference for everything and the way we show up in the world shapes the way our kids do too.
This also means, that as Christian parents, we are the number one example of what it looks like to be in relationship with God and we have the beautiful opportunity to introduce our kids to the hope, joy, and love we’ve found in Jesus.
Raising Christian kids, in its very essence, is discipleship.
When discipleship is done well, it looks like teaching through example.
Reimagining Family Discipleship
This phrase, “Reimagining Family Discipleship,” is the tagline for my company Constant Source. The mission of Constant Source is to empower and equip Christian parents with the tools and confidence they need to disciple their kids. But as is true with most catchy tag-lines, it could use a bit more of an explanation.
Content Warning: I’m about to get a little academic on you, but I promise it’s helpful.
To start, let me spell out our tag-line a bit more clearly. Constant Source is reimagining how to support the family as the main space that discipleship is happening for Christian kids.
As we just noted above, raising Christian kids is discipleship. However, throughout the 19th and 20th centuries the discipleship center shifted away from the home and was redefined by the church through the advent of Sunday school.
Now, before any negative thoughts surface about the church, it's important to recognize why this outsourcing of discipleship occurred. It all comes down to a fairly well-known, important historical turning point; the industrial revolution.
During the industrial revolution, the small agricultural homesteads of the 18th century became a thing of the past as men and teenagers moved to the city to work in factories leaving women and younger children behind to keep everything on the home front running. With the exodus of large portions of preindustrial family life so went Christian education being a focus of the home.
In reaction to the changing times, older Christians in rural communities took it upon themselves to educate younger children about God, which ultimately led to the modern Sunday school method we are familiar with today.
There was quite a bit of refinement between then and now, but the main take away for our purposes today is that Sunday school was never intended to be the primary source of Christian education for our children.
Over the last 50 years, Christian churches have gotten really good at creating inspiring environments to meet God in the midst of community, but with average church attendance being only a couple times a month, Sunday school should only be a supplement to the learning and discipleship that's happening in the home.
In fact, the Bible is pretty clear that sharing faith with children is most successful when it starts in the home and is supported by the witness and testimony of the community. Not the other way around.
Deuteronomy 6:4-9 (NLT) reads:
4) “Listen, O Israel! The Lord is our God, the Lord alone. 5) And you must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your strength. 6) And you must commit yourselves wholeheartedly to these commands that I am giving you today. 7) Repeat them again and again to your children. Talk about them when you are at home and when you are on the road, when you are going to bed and when you are getting up. 8) Tie them to your hands and wear them on your forehead as reminders. 9) Write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates.
Now, I recognize the methodology is a little dated. I don’t want you to think I am encouraging you to start wearing your WWJD bracelets or your NOTW baseball caps again. Oh, that’s “What Would Jesus Do” (WWJD) and “Not of This World” (NOTW) for those who may have missed this piece of Evangelical culture.
But what I do want to emphasize is the heart of these commandments.
Faith, truth, and Christian identity is shared from parent to child.
Our relationship with Jesus should be at the center of our daily rhythms.
When we journey together as a family we inherently encourage and remind one another of who we are in Christ.
Our faith and our theology should animate the way we show up in the world, caring for and loving others. Those on the outside of your home, outside your “gate,” should experience Jesus through you.
In summary, the industrial revolution shifted our cultural understanding of who is supposed to teach our kids about God. Reimagining Family Discipleship means shifting the focus back to where God intended it to happen; in the home.
For this to happen, you are the key!
You are the key to helping your kids know what it means to live into their identity as a beloved child of God. If you want to seriously pursue family discipleship you're in good company. As I mentioned earlier, it isn't easy. But if you are willing to consistently show up and prioritize making time for God, you are well on your way to helping your family thrive.
If this feels daunting to you, just know that you aren’t alone. One of the reasons why it feels hard is because Christian parents are often under equipped to do the work of discipleship.
Just like we wouldn’t expect a carpenter to build a house, with a hammer and a bag of nails. Christian parents shouldn’t be accepted to develop the spiritual life of their kids with a Kid’s Storybook Bible and a prayer.
Christian parents need a whole array of tools. So I have dedicated my life work to creating a toolbox that equips Christian parents to be the spiritual leaders that their families need.
So What Now?
If you are ready to start implementing simple, but meaningful practices that will help your family thrive. Check out one of the below resources, built from the ground up to help you succeed in discipline your kids.
